July 5, 2008
Hubby wants baby while marriage isn’t going good?
Penelope G asked:
Brief history - known my hubby for the past 3 years. Been married for 6 months. Currently, he has been pressing into arguements on wanting to know when we are going to start a family. For the past several months, we have not been getting along. I have sought out counseling to ‘learn’ how to talk to my hubby whom the counseling states 99.9% sure he is ADHD. All we do is argue and have talked about getting a divorce. I am baffled that for the past couple of weeks he wants to start a family.
I do know that he and his brother are always in competition of seeing who could get the best of the best. There is a bet that the two have whereas I won’t get pregnant within our one year.
I told my hubby that it would be the worse thing we could do is bring a child into this world with an unstable marriage. For some reason, he thinks our marriage is stable?!???? I have no clue what he is thinking when he tells me he wants to have a baby.
Am I thinking right?
Brief history - known my hubby for the past 3 years. Been married for 6 months. Currently, he has been pressing into arguements on wanting to know when we are going to start a family. For the past several months, we have not been getting along. I have sought out counseling to ‘learn’ how to talk to my hubby whom the counseling states 99.9% sure he is ADHD. All we do is argue and have talked about getting a divorce. I am baffled that for the past couple of weeks he wants to start a family.
I do know that he and his brother are always in competition of seeing who could get the best of the best. There is a bet that the two have whereas I won’t get pregnant within our one year.
I told my hubby that it would be the worse thing we could do is bring a child into this world with an unstable marriage. For some reason, he thinks our marriage is stable?!???? I have no clue what he is thinking when he tells me he wants to have a baby.
Am I thinking right?
Filed under ADHD Marriage by admin
Comments on Hubby wants baby while marriage isn’t going good? »
Sounds like he’s more concern with his bet than with his relationship with you.
he might be trying to win the bet. or he might think that having a baby would fix your marriage somehow.
you are right….i dont think now is the right time to have a child when things arent so great with your marriage…having a baby might only add to the stress that you are both feeling now….and its no good either to raise a child in a very unstable environment…i guess your husband just wants to win the bet that’s why he’s pressing you to get pregnant….he should get treatment first and both of you should go to a marriage counselor to work things out….
From what you say then yes you are right. - No way can it make sense to add a child to the relationship. Go with your instinct - am sure you are on the right track, if things go wrong for you it may well be hard enough to deal with it without the complication of a child.
What u might want to do is bring up all the stuff yall argue about. somewhere down the line he will get pissed and when he does, catch him and tell him this is what your talkin about. that you guys argue and dissagree on to many issues to bring a child into all of the drama.
Its best you don’t bring a child into this…Its not going to make things better, you obviously know this, he needs understand this. Stick to your guns, i believe you have a good grasp on whats happening here and can you imagine bring a baby into this mess. You are the right one here.
It is not right to bring a new life into the world if you are not happy.
Speak to your husband, i know that seems easy to say and harder to do, but you are doing the right thing by going to councelling. If he really loves you he will understand that you want to resolve your own issues before starting a family. I wish you all the best. xx